Is Traditional Marriage Obsolete?

If a month could have a theme song, I imagine June’s would be “Here Comes the Bride.”

It is a fact that more people get married in June than any other month of the year, followed by

August, July, and May, in that order. Weddings are wonderful occasions that bring the family

together to celebrate the love and lifelong commitment between a man and a woman. However,

is marriage really necessary? What does a “piece of paper” (Marriage License) do for a

relationship? Besides, people are skipping marriage and just living together every day, and they

seem happy, don’t they? So, what is the “big deal?”

Before I go any further, I want to say that the views expressed here are mine and do not

necessarily reflect the views of the publisher or staff of the Loon Lake Times. I believe that

marriage is to be between one man and one woman in light of the teachings in the Bible, the

science of the human body, and as reflected all through nature. Moreover, I have always

endeavored to show love and respect towards all people regardless of their stand on various

issues, including marriage. All I ask is for the same in return. Furthermore, for those who have

been divorced, I am sorry if you have been treated as if you had leprosy by some sorely

misguided people in “The Church” (who do not represent all Christians by any means!). Divorce

is undesirable, painful, and complicated, but it is not an unpardonable sin, and sadly, sometimes

divorce is the only solution because of those with hardened hearts who will always blame others

and refuse to admit any guilt on their part.”

I could share several Scriptures about marriage with you (like Genesis 2:23-24; Matthew

19:4-6; Ephesians 5:28-31), but you may not even be sure the Bible is trustworthy (a topic I will address soon). Therefore, let me share data from a non-religious organization that draws from

about one hundred leading scholars called “The Center for Marriage and Families at the Institute

for American Values” (www.americanvalues.org). Their research parallels many other studies

about the personal benefits of traditional marriage and its irreplaceable positive impact on

society.

The study produced by this particular nonprofit, nonpartisan organization is called “Why

Marriage Matters: Thirty Conclusions from the Social Sciences, 3rd edition.” Interestingly, the

first edition had twenty-one conclusions, and the second edition had twenty-six. I guess they kept

discovering more reasons for “Why Marriage Matters.” It is important to note that these

conclusions do not come from preconceived religious beliefs or biased notions about marriage

but are the real-life realities they discovered from studying tens of thousands of couples over

many years.

First of all – these scholars concluded something quite astonishing that should make us

stop and consider from where, or from whom, did marriage originate? Conclusion (#6) states that

“Marriage is a virtually universal human institution.” The institution of marriage cannot be

traced to a specific culture, religion, ethnicity, or geographic region. Historically, the only role of

any government has always been to acknowledge the validity and legal bonds of a marriage

between a man and a woman.

So, what did they find out when comparing traditional marriage with cohabiting couples

and households? Conclusion #4 summarized their findings by stating, “Cohabitation is not the

functional equivalent of marriage.

” In support of that conclusion, they state that children in a

cohabitation household have “higher levels of psychological problems” (#23), are “less likely to

thrive” (#3), and are at “greater risk of child abuse” (#29). Likewise, cohabiting or dating women have a greater risk of being the victim of domestic violence (#28) and have much higher rates of

depression (#25) than married women.

Furthermore, married couples “build more wealth on average than singles or cohabiting

couples” (#10), and minorities and disadvantaged women (with children) benefit when they

marry and stay married (#11 & 12). The traditional marriage structure provides the best

opportunity for family stability, increasing the likelihood of healthy relationships and personal

development among adults and their children (conclusions #1, 2, 7, and 8). Of course, marriage

alone is not the cure-all for the issues we face today, and other factors will impact these areas of

personal development and society as well, but study after study reveals that the best chance for

all involved is in the context of traditional marriage. You can get the complete study from their

website.

Finally, to those who say they are committed to their partner, what better way to show it

than by making it legal and binding. Anything less is to leave oneself an escape route – and there

are too many stories of supposed commitment that ended when things got complicated. In July,

my wife and I will celebrate 42 years of marriage, and we view that “piece of paper” as our

“Declaration of Love and Devotion,” which has profoundly changed us for the better in ways

nothing else could. When a couple enters into this kind of marriage relationship, they will also

discover the true meaning of love and give the world a picture of the kind of unwavering love

God has for you and me. The God who created you loves you “for better or worse, for richer or

poorer, in sickness or health, until at death you depart this earth.” I pray that you know His

unwavering and transforming love most of all.